TGL Iyer : Life's Perspectives

Nothing is free in this world; everything has a price. Anybody who pays the price can walk out with it. The price may be hard work, taking the risk, working overtime or sacrificing a favourite pastime. To excel in our chosen field, we have to discover what it takes to be the best, like time, practice, commitment, sacrifice or self denial. Success is never on sale; it is a matter of deciding how much you want to pay. Emerson said that our primary need in life is to get somebody who will shape us with what we have. At some point of time, that somebody makes his or her appearance like a parent, friend or teacher. But when we become adults we have to become that somebody. We need self-discipline to realise and release our potential to reveal our full personality. Self discipline is merely controlling ourselves and if we don’t do that, someone else will exercise control over us. We may not be able to control circumstances but we can definitely control our response to such situation

We come into this world with nothing and depart with nothing. The possessions we accumulate during our lifetime, physically, phychologically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally are all mere confirmations of living. They satisfy the ego saing that everything is well. So, when we are accumulating, the egon equates that with comfort. If we were to lose ground in any of these areas, which the ego sees as loss, doscomfort or threat, then the ego equates that with death. Therefore, ego is a useful thing to meet the physical needs of life. However, trouble starts when ego perceives threats that are emotional, psychological or mental in nature. To the ego on the physical plane, comfort means life; anything that threatens is death. On the emotional, psychological and mental levels, we are free to make our own intelligent decisions. By not exercising that free will, we leave the decision to the ego, which will operate on instince, depending whether it is life-giving, or life-threateni

Successful people never think of themselves as successful. They arrive and that is what keeps them going. It is continual learning, everyday, moment to moment. When you do something tomorrow, you should be able to do it better. They say that most destinations are illusions. The journey itself is the destination. It is passion, the wonderful experience that makes the journey enjoyable. Chaos is oxygen for them, which dribes them to creativity. They define nothing like goals, destination or menoeuvre. They say that chaos and confusion are productive. It helps to fuel the passion. Successful people like challenge, which gives satisfaction in finding a solution and gets results. One should develop an inner initiative to do things and enjoy results. Nothing should appear as work but only as play, as a game to win to lose. It is better to pursue a dream that gives energy and exitement to the individual. No decision should be made when one is emotional. Whenever one is at a hei

Gordon Mc Kenzie, the Creative Director of Hallmakr Cards, in his book Orbiting The Giant Hairball menitioned that during the early past of his careet, he visited elementary schools to teach creative thinking. He entered the first grade class and asked “How many artists do I have in this room? All hands went up. When repeated the same question in the second grade, the number droped to 80 percent. In the third grade it was fifty percent. In the fifth grade only 3 or 4 hands went up and in the sixth grade, there was only one. What happens when we grow older? We can’t draw, we can’t speak, we can’t perform. We attribute that to our parents who gave us bad genes. Over and above, the teacher, boss and others in authority tell us, “You are not good; you can’t do this or that” and wse believe it. Suddenly, we become a collection of ‘Cants’. Negative thoughts dominate and many of us sit in awe and wonder when others succeed. Any significant change in life starts with the words ‘I can

Albert Einstein said once: There are only two ways to live i.e. as if everything is a miracle or as if nothing works. Often when life shatters us and sends us tumbling in terror towards the unknown, we seek comforting words to reduce our pain. When his child suddenly died, Einstein wrote to friends: “When the expected course of everyday life is interrupted, we realise that we are like ship-wrecked people, trying to keep their balance on a wooden plank in the open sea, having forgotten where they came from and not known whither they are drifting?” When I was in school, I distinctly remember a person who did odd jobs including cooking, carrying water, washing buffaloes etc. With great difficulty he educated his two sons who initially needed some monetary help but later went on their own steam, getting scholarships, prizes and incentives at the school, college and university. They did their engineering, went abroad and invited the parents to join them. They said: “Son, we have done o

What we need most in this life is for someone to tell us the truth. And truth is that very few situatins are going to come into our lives that we don’t cause to happen. This is the most important concept of life, which many don’t understand. Everyday becomes a puzzle if we are going to wait for a certain person to call, wait for that overdue promotion, wait for the ripe time to write the book, waiting to lose weight or for circumstances to get better. It is never going to happen and it will remain a mere dream. For example, if you want to be with someone at this moment, do you wait or take some action? If you want more money right now, are you going to wait or take some action? Well, action is the key. We get what we want when we believe that taking action is what make things, happen. We may intend many things but without action they remain as intentions. Do we wait for fate or God to make things happen or we make our own dreams to become true? Success, money, excitement, adven

It is a fact that most of us who are in mental prison have a poor self concept of ourselves. This poor self-concept has caused us making unwise choices. All those who do not feel positive about themselves will make unwise choices. The beginning of making a sense out of our lives is to see ourselves as useful human beings. If we are not able to comprehend our value as individuals, we will not be motivated to alter our lives for the better. How do we change reality and transform our lives? Whether we are destined to be what we are or whether we are capable of transforming our lives is a million-dollar question. We don’t have the time of luxury to consider ourselves incapable of becoming what we are capable of. If we look around there are many who have made big shifts in their lives. We need not waste time thinking that we can’t transform our lives too. The first step in transforming ourselves is to believe that change is possible. There is no power holding us back. We can disco

Plato narrated a story in ‘Allegory of the cave.’ Three men were chained from birth inside a cave facing the wall. The cave entrance was behind them. They were chained in sucha way that they could only see straight ahead. When the sn rose, they saw light on the wall. At night, the wall was dark. Occasionally, they saw shadows pass across the wall but they did not know. Why? One day. One of the three men broke his chain and walked outside the cave. He saw wonderful amazing things like plants, animals and birds. He rushed back and told the other two, that the world outside was wonderful. He liberated them and wanted them to accompany him outside the cave. They refused to follow him due to mere fear of seeing something different.” This is our story; afraid to see the wonderful world but satisfied with shadows on the wall. We don’t wish to break the chains and see the real world. A person once served his wife, her dinner to eat. She was surprised as it never happened before. She asked him

My teacher used to say, “The greatest danger we face is goin through life being unaware of ourselves and what we may be missing. All of us are vulnerable. I can sahre ideas and concepts, but ultimately the wisdom you attain will come through your own experience. All of us have different exposures and experiences in life. If we spend our lives trying to be someone else, we are going to experience a lot of frustration and disappointment. We should be what we really are.” We cannot overvalue or undervalue ourselves. We experience life on different emotional levels. We should focus on seeing life more realistically. Being positive is being able to accept ourselves as we are, because we spend most of our time with ourselves. If we want accomplish anything in life, we have to move on. We have to overcome or vault over obstacles and barriers, whenever they appear. We have to develop a winning edge. William Faulkner once lamented that the saddes thing in life is the only thing we ca

People who live the most meaningful lives are those who connect to themselves, connect with others, the world and nature. Such people lead a purposeful life. They attract success as on each day; they plan, set goals and make things happen. Such people are inspired people having a sense of purpose and destiny. They know that they have a reason to be born to play their assigned role. They inspire themselves and others and do not feel that they have to prove anything to this world to justify their merit or existence. They are on a learning spree, reading books, associating with the learned and rendering a positive feeling to others. Sometimes, we have to reach beyond our natural abilities, stretch ourselves to a breaking point to come out of the dark tunnel. We see in the media, very ordinary people from poor families getting selected in the Indian Central Services without help, guidance or even a library to refer. That is sheer will power to succeed. They reach much beyond their

Most people who erect a mental prison have a poor concept about themselves. This poor self-concept forces them to make unwise choices. Those who do not feel positive about themselves will obviously make unwise choices. When we hold ourselves back by being unkind to ourselves, we lock ourselves in a sort of mental prison. There was a person who was not good looking and he felt guilty all the time although he was not responsible for his looks. When he came to the stage of marriage, he thought that a good looking girl would cause problems for him when others would focus their attention on her. So he chose an ugly looking girl, who ultimately turned out to be a goldmine. Thie girl was loyal, attached, obedient and devoted to the family, which was a sheer stroke of luck. His unwise choice turned out to be the best choice. The beginning of making some sense out of life is for us to see ourselves as unique and significant human beings without a duplicate. If we are not able to compreh

Many in this world attribute other people’s success to good luck. This belief is blind without any scientific analysis. The truth is that people make their own good or bad fortune. Psychologiest Richard Wiserman once conducted an experiment to find out why some people are consistently lucky? He examined about 5000 people from all walks of life and reached the following conclusion. Lucky people generate their good fortune through six techniques. First, they are skilled in noticing opportunities. Second, they trust their intuition. Third, they could create positive expectations. Fourth, they have a resilient attitude, which transforms bad luck into good luck. Fifth, they take the risk when others don’t. Sixth, they believe that they are lucky. Psychologists have coined a word ‘Counterfactual’ that is, people thinking that if they had put in a little more effort, they could have won the gold medal. There was a person who was at the bottom of the IAS list. He thought that if he

In the Hollywood Movie Let It Ride, actor Richard Dreyfus is portrayed as a racecourse addict who has a “Flow Day” or a “Barren Day”. Normally, he is a big loser, when it comes to picking a winning horse. His addiction puts a serious strain on his job and marriage. He is in danger of losing both. No matter, what he does on his FLOW day, he just cannot lose. He wing every bet he makes, is admired by everyone around him. Even when he makes a wrong choice he still wins. For instance, in one race, he picked the wrong horse but he still won. It changed the life around him, which ultimately changed his life. He became rich, his marriage improved and he happily lived ever after! I have seen a person playing in the share market having the intuition and instinct when to stop and when to raise the stakes. Ultimately, he became a crorepati. His wife who cursed him for his gambling nature was silenced and became decoted to him. She said, “This man has a gift to place the stakes at the

“Nothing can come of nothing”, said William Shakespeare. Striving for success without hardwork is like trying to harvest where you haven’t planted. What you believe becomes futile, unless it wakes you up from your dream and you start working. We have seen people working hard and producing results, when others talk about it. Wat Whitman wrote a poem “There is a man in the world who never gets turned down wherever he chances to stray’ he gets the glow hand in the populous town or out where the farmers make hay; He is treeted with pleasure on the deserts of sand and deep in the isles of the woods, wherever he goes there is a welcoming hand and he is the man who delilvers the goods.” When it comes to excuses, the world is full of them. There is no point in wasting life boasting in what you are going to do and later explaining why you did not do it? There was a man who was standing at the edge of a pool where there were sharks. The owner challenged anyone who can swim among the sha

Whether you like to work alone or rub shoulders with other people; whether you would like to go and meet people or people to come to you; whether you like a sophisticated aesthetic atmosphere or a rough and tumble competitive atmosphere; your task in human relations have a lot to do with your selection of what you want to do. If you don’t enjoy human relations whether in the office or at home, you will shomehow get fed up with the routine with no medium to acquire or give information. Unfortunately, there are 3 common excuses, which many people give for not doing what they like to do. First, “I haven’t the time.” Well, this is fixed for everyone; either you have to create it or waste it without doing anything substantial. My neighbour, for example, who retired from government service says, “Where is the time from morning till evening, you are engaged in solving domestic problems? My sone and daughter-in-law go for work and I have to take care of their children. Then, I must have

Most people go along day-by-day following an easy existence and taking the most important blessings of life like Health and Serenity for granted. They talk about many projects to improve their prospects, standard of living, level of happiness and so on, but put them off without doing anything about it. This happens because they are never inspired and are never forced into action by some sudden turn of events. Consequently, they exist and die without reaching anywhere near their full potential. I know a person who suddenly retired without any planning, put his retirement benefits in a Co-operative Bank to get higher returns and suddenly the bank collapsed and all the money was lost. He searched for a job but could not get a suitable one and one day passed away leaving his widow penniless. The widow was an intelligent woman and she set up a beauty parlour, which began on a small scale but flourished in due course of time. Each one of us has within us that which is necessary to remake the

It is necessary to tame our Ego because until we gain power over it, it has power over us. Also any quality connected with Ego or has its roots in the Ego will continue exercising its power over us. A fear based ego will produce fear based desires, which produce fear based goals. Anything which is based on fear exerts power over us. For eg. we fear that we will be a flop in public speaking and that fear will prove that it is real. Once the ego is conquered, we will discover that our desires also will change. The change will be from self centeredness to other centeredness. That explains why so many successful people are Philanthropists. Zen Master Taisen Deshimaru writes in his book Questions to a Zen Master that “To have a goal to get or grasp something is really a sickness of the mind. You don’t need a goal, if you are concentrating on what you are doing and complete it the way you intended to, in the beginning. Here and now, if you concentrate, you concentration will illumin